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Perfect Moments -- Dealing with Holiday Stress
Rate it! Votes (1) | Comments (0) By Catie Hayes Posted August 6th, 2007 FabulousFoods.com Recommends: The Ultimate Christmas Book: Over 240 Holiday Craft, Food, and Decorating Ideas, by Reader's Digest Editors, (2006, Readers Digest)	The Ultimate Christmas Book: Over 240 Holiday Craft, Food, and Decorating Ideas

Well, I must have blinked, because here I am, nose to nose with "The Holidays". Imagine a dramatic musical flourish here for emphasis. It could be music from the shower scene of Psycho or Handel's Messiah depending upon how you deal with this time of year. Personally, I waver between the 'Deer in the Headlight' look (I don't care what the calendar says, I'm still trying to get my head around the fact summer is over) and an eggnog-induced state of eternal bliss (who can dislike a season involving so much pie?)

Now, if the annual media blitz is to be believed, we are all in for a month and a half of perfect, Norman Rockwell moments....but no pressure.

I don't know about you, but every time I've tried to fit into this mold, I usually end up more closely resembling a frazzled lump of something my cat coughed up. I don't have time to send cards to every person I've ever met. I don't have energy to set up decorations throughout my house or the drive to adorn the exterior with lighting. I don't have the patience to fashion stunning holiday centerpieces from hand-selected acorns rolled in granular sugar. I don't have a bank account that can fund the stuff every commercial tells me is a must for the perfect holiday. Don't tell anyone, but I can't even stand malls and shopping, anyway.

To add insult to injury, comparing my family structure with Norman Rockwell paintings clearly indicates the distinct absence of "normal". I remember one holiday, in particular, where I was hell-bent on achieving celebratory perfection. My sister, her husband, his father, and my father were all coming to my house. The various and sundry fathers both had a number of years under their belts, poor health, and temperaments rarely pleased with much of anything. This did not matter, because I had a goal!

My sister and I wasted the whole day trying to make sure everyone was happy and had what they needed. We were having the perfect holiday if it killed us. My kids bounced off the walls, well, like a bunch of kids. The fathers complained bitterly about everything, and compared maladies. My sister and I contemplated an escape route.

As the day wound down, the children settled in, and the fathers left, it felt as though exhalation was finally possible. Without the need to create the perfect moment, we all relaxed enough to have one. My sister and I finally had a chance to actually notice the flavor of foods we had worked on all day, we talked freely without the burden of having to draw everyone else into the conversation, and we laughed with an abandon that should be present at every holiday.

You see, that's the thing about perfect moments, they cannot be manufactured. I don't care how complete a shopping list is, or how efficiently a to-do list is managed, neither can create something so elusive. It's not about orchestrating anything. It's about realizing, for a brief moment, you already have everything you need right in front of you. You are just there, and that is enough.

Blessings of warmth, joy and love from my family to yours,

Catie

Catie Hayes is founder/editor of WomanLinks.com; a community of support, spirituality, growth and empowerment for women. She is a freelance writer, the single homeschooling mom of two, and an avid fan of laughter, spontaneous dancing, cats, and chocolate (not necessarily in that order).

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